We Did It!

Thank you all, for your comments and for joining up on my blog -- you helped me met my goal of 200 followers -- I actually have one to spare! I want to thank all of you, whether you joined lately, early on, or somewhere in between. It has been a very interesting blogging journey. Those emails I get once in a while from those of you who enjoy my writing, whether it be blog or book, are so very gratifying. Thank you!

I look forward to pulling two names from the hat on Monday. I won't be putting the first name back in, so that one person doesn't win both books.

I am also very grateful for others' writing. Yesterday when I read a post by Lisa Romeo, I decided it warranted a mention on my blog. To find out what inspired me, please click over to her blog: Lisa Romeo Writes. I think her discovery is very interesting... she started writing her "Did It" list at the end of a year when she didn't feel she had gotten much accomplished. When she made the list, she discovered she really had done more than she realized. I love "taking stock" of my life once in a while. It really inspires gratitude for all that makes my life what it is.

This will most likely be my last post for 2011, so I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year. May your hopes and dreams be realized and may you find meaning on this journey we call life. We are all Pilgrims on this road...

In the Spirit of Giving...

Good morning all!

I am announcing a giveaway for a book, possibly two. This is another way of thanking you for all the visits to my blog in 2011.

The book I'm offering is a copy of the memoir A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard. It is the dramatic story of the author being held captive for eighteen years by someone who abused her. To learn more about it, you can see it on Amazon. This is a hardcover book.

I've had a goal for this blog... I'd really like to have 200 followers by Monday, January 1. Right now I have 196, which means I need at least four more. Here is an incentive to sign up, if you haven't already... if I can reach 200 or more by Monday, I'll do another drawing for a second book. This one is by Ursula Hegi, one of my favorite authors. Her book, Stones from the River is one of my all-time favorites. The book I'll be giving away is Salt Dancers. It's about inherited sorrow, when the main character finds herself pregnant at forty-one. She returns to her home in the Pacific Northwest to confront haunting memories of her past. You can find out more about it on Amazon. This is a paperback copy.

There is one hitch. You need to be a follower to enter the giveaway, so no "anonymous" entries, please. If you want to enter the giveaway, please leave a comment with your "sign-in" name and specify which book you'd like to receive.

I'll be announcing the winner (or winners) on Monday and sending the book or books on Tuesday.

I hope your Christmas was wonderful. Mine was very enjoyable. It was great to have our sons, Paul and Tim, home to visit us.

My friend, Mary Ann, another former Amish person who writes the blog, A Joyful Chaos, has made a very wonderful announcement of the miracle that happened in her life during Christmas. Please click over to see her post. Congratulations, Mary Ann and family!

Silent Night...

Warm wishes for a Joyful Christmas from my home to yours. Here are a few images of our Christmas this year. Don't you love our scraggly little tree? I'm not actually sure how that made it home with us, but here it is!

David made this beautiful cherry shelf for spices for our kitchen. What a gift!

I hope your Christmas is filled with peace, love, warmth, light, and good cheer. And joy to the world!

This and That Tuesday

Today we have a wonderfully sunny day in Western Massachusetts. I am pausing in my holiday preparations to post some thoughts.

Last week, David and I were lingering in the kitchen over tea and coffee around 9:00 in the morning. My eyes were drawn to a huge bird, flying just above the baseball field, out behind the town offices. I said, "David I think that is a bald eagle!" He saw it, too, but didn't quite believe that is what it was. The bird landed in a tree, and I could just make out his white head with binoculars. I was still in my nightgown, so I asked David to go out with his binoculars and see what it is. He did -- and he found a bald eagle sitting on a branch overlooking the Connecticut River, just looking around. He got a close-up view of it, including the big yellow curved beak. David came back in and convinced me to get dressed and come out with the camera and the binoculars. So we went out together and it was still there. Wow! What a sight! How majestic! I knew, even as I was viewing it, that I was afforded an opportunity of a lifetime. I just kept saying, "Oh, how beautiful! Oh my God, that is so amazing!" David was trying to take a picture of it, when it flew from the tree, out over the river, and away. The wingspan on that bird was wider than David's armspan. It soared right above the water, and then was gone -- as quietly as a mystery.

Two days ago, I was going to the bank, when I looked up, and lo and behold, there was an eagle, soaring around in circles. Once you've seen a bald eagle, there is no mistaking it -- the shape of the wings, the way it soars, that wide wingspan. When I watched him, I could almost imagine myself up there, getting an eagle's view of the world in which we live. So, I am thankful for these two sightings. It is another reminder of what a wonderful thing it is to have nature all around us.

Photo from Skolai Images

Have you ever seen a bald eagle? If so, where, and in what setting? Did you find it awe-inspiring?

I've gotten some very creative cards and letters from friends this season. Some people are so inventive with the way they catch you up on the year's happenings. I was particularly struck by one from John and Pat Anderson, who are parents to five and grandparents to fourteen. They managed, in one card, to include a photo of each of their children and grandchildren, photos of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, a wedding photo of themselves and each of their children, and one of their recent snowstorm. And then there are words of wisdom besides. This witty wisdom comes from the point of view of the stork, who visited their youngest daughter this summer. This was a rather unexpected visit, and it tells us how it has been working for the family for the last fifty years, and how it has arthritis in its wing joints. Then it says, "My outlook and attitude, however, could not be better and let me tell you why. The many bundles I deliver are examples of the greatest treasures you can receive.

My message to everyone is to pause and consider the real meaning of the holiday season. It's not the gifts and jingle bells we have become accustomed to, rather the creation of life, be it an infant child or the natural evolution of nature that surrounds us each and every day. 


Believe it or not, our greatest gifts are free and don't arrive gift wrapped. I hope you will take a few minutes every now and then to think about what this old bird is trying to say."


I get what the old bird is trying to say. It is important for us to listen to the sages in our lives. What a blessing it is to have the those who have been seasoned in life's joys and sorrows share their wisdom with us.

I first met the Andersons back when I was teaching school among the Amish. I visited them in their home in Short Hills, New Jersey just before I left the Amish for good. Then we lost track of one another for more than thirty years. Earlier this year, I got an email from them and we reconnected. Since then, David and I have stayed at their home several times when on book tour. It is always a pleasure to be with them. We are honored to be in their circle of friends, and to be reminded that the important things in life are not always what we focus on.

Pat and John Anderson

John and Pat both have blogs. Click here to visit Pat's blog and click here for John's blog, which includes a scan of the Christmas card I described.

Do you have sages in your life? What have you learned from them?

Now on a sadder note. Please keep the Yoder family in Fredericksburg, Ohio, in your prayers. This is an Amish family who just lost their fifteen-year-old daughter, Rachel, in a mysterious shooting. To learn more about that, you can read the report here.  It is now believed that it was an accident, as reported here, though there are still questions left unanswered. This tragedy is the second in just a few months for the Yoder family. Rachel's mother was killed in an accident when the van she was riding in was hit by a truck in September. Rachel has ten surviving siblings. I can only imagine the grief that this family is going through. My prayers are with them.

And the winner is...

KQ Sue! Congratulations, Sue, for winning the giveaway for my book. Please send me your address, and I will send this out to you today. Hopefully you will still get it in time for Christmas. Please let me know to whom I should sign it.

My email is salomafurlong[at]gmail[dot]com.

Thank you, all who participated in this giveaway. I hope you will consider buying my book, either through me, Amazon, or your local bookstore. To buy it from me, you can click on the image on the top right hand side of the page.

For all those who participated in David's giveaway, please go on over to his blog. He is about to announce his winner.

Happy Holidays to all!

Winners announced tomorrow morning

David and I will be putting up our Christmas tree and decorations today, so I will post something later about that. In the meantime, I wanted to remind everyone that I will be pulling a name for a winner for my book tomorrow morning. Also, David will be doing the same for the giveaway on his blog. Click on the image below to go to his blog to sign up for his giveaway. Your chances on receiving one of his Vintage Village miniatures are pretty high, for not many have signed up.

Here is a sneak preview. Click on the image to go to his blog and sign up for a chance to win one of these buildings.

This and That Thursday and a Giveaway

There are many things I am grateful for today, and so I am offering a Christmas giveaway of my memoir, Why I Left the Amish and a one of my fabric reusable gift bags to go with it. First of all, I am grateful to all of you for visiting my blog. I know how hard it is to choose how to use one's time and I also know how many other interesting blogs are out there. So, I feel like giving a token of my appreciation. Simply leave a comment after this post, stating clearly whether you'd like to be included in the drawing. I will be drawing a name on Monday morning, so the winner can still receive the book before Christmas.

David's business of making mini villages is starting to blossom. He is very gratified when people recognize the talent it takes to make such wonderful little creations. If you haven't had a chance to see his Vintage Village Designs, please visit his blog by clicking here. He is offering a giveaway of one of his mini designs. He also has posted his larger Vintage Village Designs. There is still time for you to receive an order for Christmas, depending on where you live, so be sure to visit his blog.

Now a little of this and that.

Last night I delivered my last author talk for 2011 -- it was number 70. This was in the beautiful town of Guilford, Connecticut, on a mild December day. David and I drove down there, past the hospital where he was born, in Middletown, Connecticut. We got a glimpse of the ocean at sunset at Guilford Harbor.

Here is David looking out to sea, less than ten miles from the place where he used to play along the shore as a toddler. Guilford happens to be near Clinton, where his family lived until he was three years old.

When we got there, the sunset was glowing off the windows of these houses so that it looked like they were on fire. It was so cool to get there at that moment, because it faded really quickly. For a better view, click on the image.

I gave my talk in the community room of the Guilford Free Public Library, where they had a fabulous quilt display. I had an enthusiastic audience, made up of 75 people. It is always a wonderful feeling to connect with the audience. When that happens to the degree that it did last night, I come away from my talk feeling energized. The questions were great; the response to the talk was exhilarating, and the dialogue afterwards was engaging. I think I wasn't the only one who didn't want this evening to end.

So, as I bring my book talks to a close for 2011, I am grateful for all that this year has brought. I'd like to thank Julie Loehr at Michigan State University Press for deciding to publish my book. None of the book talks could have happened without that. David and I have gotten a chance to connect with more than 3,000 people that we would not have, except through the book talks. We had the opportunity to travel to many places we wouldn't have otherwise. We both enjoy traveling and I think David is the best traveling companion there is.

And finally I'd like to end with expressing my gratitude for David's sense of humor. The other day we were walking to the local market. We were talking about ideas. David is an ideas man and most of the time he has good ones. Once in a while, I have a good idea and when I do, David is sometimes hesitant to acknowledge it. I was fishing for a compliment, and he wasn't giving it. So I said, "You have a lot of good ideas, but you are not the sole owner of them, you know. Maybe you are too proud to recognize that." He said, "I didn't grow up practicing competitive humility like you did in the Amish." I laughed so hard, I almost couldn't walk. Did I mention that David also has the best lines? He nailed this one!

May your holidays be filled with peace, love, joy, and good cheer. (David says "and humility.")  

Answering the Final Questions

Courtney asked several questions.  I will insert my answers in between each question.

Who are considered elders? Is it just the ministers/deacon/bishop? 

Courtney, you are correct: teach church district usually has one bishop, two ministers, and a deacon. Together, they are the elders of the church.

And I'm curious about different styles of buggies. Meaning are there different ones that seat different number of people or have a different function, like used for picking up supplies from town? 

Yes, there are different styles of buggies and this varies from one community to another. Most have buggies with tops on them, but not all. As far as I know, every community has the single buggy and a "surry," has more than one seat for transporting a family. Most communities need a "bench wagon" that transports the church benches from house to house. (The exception to this is Somerset, Pennsylvania, where they have a church building and therefore don't rotate church services from one house to another.) Some communities also have "hackney wagons" that I think you are referring to, which are used to transport supplies from town. These are probably the more conservative groups, because I think most Amish find it easier to hire an English van driver to transport their supplies, rather than have a wagon for just that purpose.

Do you have any memory of work frolics when you were younger?

Yes, I have a chapter in my book called "A Frolic." I was five years old when we had a frolic to build a foundation under the old house we had moved from up the road.

You talked about hating ironing since it was gas, but what about the actual doing the laundry part? I read somewhere, and I can't remember where, about the process for doing laundry. The laundry was washed in the washer, wrung with a wringer, rinsed in plain water, wrung out again, rinsed in water with fabric softener, wrung out, and finally hung to dry. But that shirts, pants, and dresses are not wrung out since they wrinkle terribly. It makes me so thankful for my electric washer and dryer. I'm one of those people that hates cleaning lol. I would be a terrible Amish woman! I only clean because I can't stand filth.

Your description of doing the laundry is very accurate. The process we used of not putting the dresses through the wringer was called "drip drying." It saved a lot of ironing, especially when we changed over to polyester fabrics (oh how I hate polyester to this day... I can remember in the hot summer it was like wearing plastic bags). For us, there was another step involved, before we could do all the above. We had to heat our water in a big iron pot in the basement. And on wash days when there was no water left in the rain water tank, we had to haul it in from the pump by the barn before we could heat it. Other people in our community had hot and cold running water by then, but we could not afford it. 

Some of the more restrictive Amish communities still haul and heat their water, but by far the majority of the Amish have used their ingenuity to alter equipment to fit into what is allowed in their communities, and so it makes washing clothes a lot easier than what we had to do. 

When I was visiting Amish friends in Kentucky recently, I found out that they use solar panels to power their washing machine. That means they don't have to have that noisy and smelly gasoline engine in their basement or washhouse. Wow -- this I could never have imagined as a child!

Courtney, thank you very much for your questions. Many of these things I take for granted because I grew up in this lifestyle. Therefore, I would miss writing about such things unless someone asked. It makes me look at the Amish part of my life with fresh eyes.

More Answers to Your Questions

Sara asked: If you could change one thing about your leaving, what would it be?

Sara, this is a difficult question, partly because I don't know if you mean the things I could have changed, or what circumstances I wish would have been different. So, I will answer this in two parts.

I don't think I would change anything about the manner in which I left. I knew I couldn't let anyone Amish know I was leaving, or else I would have been overwhelmed with people trying to pressure me to stay. I didn't actually lie to anyone, yet I quietly made my plans for leaving and carried them out. I don't think I could have done it much differently than the way I did and still pull it off.

If I could change one circumstance around my leaving, I would have wanted to know at least one person in Vermont who could help me with getting settled. It would have been less of a feeling of being perched over the abyss of the great unknown when I took that night train out of Cleveland.

As a rule, I don't spend much energy thinking about what I might have changed in my past. Instead, I try to learn from my mistakes and my hardships. Yes, it was hard to not know anyone in Vermont when I arrived there, but it also gave me a clean slate to determine who I wanted to be or become. I was open to making new friends, and that soon gave me a support base that sustained me then and some of those people are still my friends now (one is my husband). So, upon thinking about this twice, perhaps I would not change this circumstance, either. I guess this brings me full circle, sort of like a snake biting its own tail -- I don't know that I would change anything.

Plaingrl asked: Why do some Amish people only take bath's once or twice a week?

Plaingirl, I don't think I can speak for those Amish people who bathe infrequently. To get an answer, you'd probably have to ask the people of whom you speak.

I will, however, try to give you some context for some possible reasons.

I tend to love my daily showers. Ahh, the luxury of the warm spray of water that comes out of the wall in the bathroom! It is something I give thanks for daily, partly because of what I had to do to "earn" a bath or homemade shower when I was growing up. If we had rain water in the tank in the basement, it wasn't quite as bad. During the times when that tank was dry, we had to carry water from the pump out by the barn. We heated it in the "cooker" in the basement, or on the burners of the oilstove or cookstove. Then we had to lug cold water to mix with the hot. In winter, the galvanized tub had to be brought up from the basement, cleaned out, and set in the living room, next to the stove. Now the hot water would get poured into the tub, then the cold to get it to the right temperature. Now we made sure our curtains were covering all the windows for privacy. Finally I could take a bath. But that was not the end. Now it was time to bail out the dirty bath water. And the tub was unwieldy enough that I couldn't carry out the last of it by myself. Now that process had to start all over for the next person.

In the summer, we had a different process. Instead of bathing in the living room, we had a corner of the basement set up with plastic curtains around the drain. After the water had been lugged and heated, I would separate it: I poured some of the warm, clean water into the garden sprinkling can and hung it from a hook on the ceiling in the basement and the rest went into a hand basin with a clean washcloth. I'd soap myself down, and then came the fun part. I'd hold the arm of the sprinkling can and guide the spray down over myself. We called this our "homemade shower." Needless to say, summer bathing was much easier than it was in winter.

I have a question for you: if you had to work this hard to "earn" your baths or showers, how often would you bathe?

Scarf Giveaway

My friend, Lynn Kimmerle, author of the blog "Monarch Book Reviews" is offering a beautiful Margo Pettiti scarf on her blog. Be sure to click on over to enter your name for this colorful wearable piece of art. For selfish reasons, I don't want you all to go there -- I actually want a chance to win this scarf myself!

Be sure to check out Lynn's blog while you're there. I love the sense of humor that comes through in her reviews and her writing about everyday happenings. 

On December 19, we'll find out who the winner is!

More Answers to Your Questions

Tonight I will answer a few more questions that were asked on my blog in early October.

Nancy asked:


I would love a chance to read your book. What do you think is the percentage of Amish who decide to leave the order?

Nancy, I am going to refer you to the Amish Studies website for the answer to this question. Their claim is that the retention rate is around 85 percent. This is an average for all the Amish communities, but the actual rate in each community varies. Judging by the Geauga County Amish Directory from 2006, I would say that my home community's retention rate is higher than 85 percent. I counted 175 people who had left out of 2,500 families. I've often wondered if the stricter communities have higher or lower retention rates.

Anon asked: 

I would love to read your book & try to realize why you would leave your upbringing. I do realize of Amish leaving during their running around time but when did you leave & why?

Anon, I hope you've had a chance to read my book. , If so, you know that the belief that young Amish people are given a conscious choice about staying or leaving their community during their rumspringa years is a myth. I left twice -- the first time I was twenty, the second time I was twenty-three. I was a member of the church when I left both times. If you want to know why I left the Amish, I think you'll have to read my book. (If you don't have a copy of your own, your local library may have one.)

Joanne wrote: 

What recipes or dishes do you miss? I ask this because every now and then I really miss a dish that only my grandma used to make for me...even my own mom can't make it like grandma did. I wonder if there are any that you miss and would love to have again.

Joanne, this is an interesting question. There are a few things I miss from different people in my community. I wrote about Olin Clara's Peach Pie here. My mother made really good bread, but I think mine is very much like hers, so once in a while I make some. I also miss my aunt Ada's baked beans; my grandmother's stuffing; and my mother's elderberry jelly and pickled beets made with maple syrup. I make most of these things, though I've not done baked beans or elderberry jelly in a long time. I'm getting hungry! 

From Snowflakes to Hotcakes wrote: 

I was wondering how your Amish childhood has influenced the way in which you celebrate the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays? (I do know that the Amish around where I grew up celebrated them, but much differently than we did, and I wondered if you keep it more like when you were growing up, or if you have gone more to the modernized, commercialized end of things.)

Snow, I've actually written the answer to this question here. I always wanted to have a Christmas tree as a child, though we weren't allowed to have one. Cutting, decorating, and enjoying a Christmas tree each year is one of my favorite traditions. I also really enjoy putting out the creche every year -- this one that David made. 

I will continue answering the questions I received in early October. 

I wish everyone a wonderful week. 

Leaving a Legacy, Revisited

Ever so long ago, I asked for your questions, and I have not gotten around to answering them. Tonight I will begin the process of answering these, one or a few at a time. The first was posted by Kiley.

When you had your children, did/do they have a relationship with your family despite you leaving your Amish community? How do they see your "history" growing up? 


Thank you for this wonderful question, Kiley. It made me reflect on this question, and I had written a response, but then I vaguely remembered that I had written this once before. I found it and liked it better than what I wrote, so I am going to repost (with a few modifications) what I had written on January 5, 2010.


When Paul and Tim were growing up, they knew about my background, but they didn’t often ask questions about it. When they did, I would answer their questions, but no more because I didn’t want to push anything on them they weren’t ready for. I used the advice I had read for when your child asks you a question about sex -- to answer the questions they ask and not use it as an opportunity to give them "the sex talk." 


When Paul was 14 and Tim was 12, David and I planned a family trip to Ohio to visit my parents. The boys dragged their feet, but I was pretty adamant that this trip was for their future –– that they were not going to go through their whole lives without knowing something about their maternal heritage and without memories of their Amish grandparents. They didn’t have too many questions then, and I don’t honestly know how much of the trip they remember.

In 2004, when David and I traveled back to the community for my father’s funeral, our younger son, Tim, went with us. He was eighteen at the time, so I didn’t have any idea he would react the way he did. He was absolutely fascinated. He was very perceptive and noticed things about the culture that I never had, even having lived it for 23 years. As soon as we left the wake, he started peppering me with questions: “Mom, are you some kind of celebrity with these people, even though you left?” “How many second cousins do I have?” Why do they dress that way?” “What? They can have LED lights on their buggies, but they can’t have electricity!” 


Seeing my culture through Tim's eyes made me reflect on it differently than I had before.

A year later, when my mother died, our older son, Paul, traveled to Ohio from Johns Hopkins, where he was attending his last year of college. His reaction was exactly the opposite of Tim’s –– he completely drew inward and didn’t want to talk about what he was experiencing. I asked him if he had any questions, and he said, “I don’t even know what to ask.” I thought he may have a delayed reaction, and that later he would ask me questions, but to this day I don’t know what he was thinking and feeling during that weekend. This was very surprising to me, because Paul is a people-person and able to relate to nearly everyone.

I have a feeling that Paul and Tim will someday want to know more about their Amish heritage. I hope I am still around to tell them stories, or at least have enough journals, letters, blogs, and other writings left to tell the story. Right now I would consider that a gift more precious than gold, for there is so little I know about my parents before they got married. Dad was 34 and Mom 32 when they got married, so there are 66 collective years of memories I would love to have filled in. As it is, I have only snatches here and there and my imagination to fill in the rest. 


I often wish I had a collection of photos of my parents when they were growing up. Still, if I had to choose between stories and photos, I'd choose stories. How about you?